10 Weeks

This week was, by far, the hardest week I have had in a long time. Please excuse my late post but I just don't even know what to do anymore. I will update more as I process this, but for now let's just say that I woke up to a 2 page letter from Luke as to why he isn't "ready" for our relationship. My best friend stabbed me in the back by crossing girl code (how do people not know girl code anymore!?) and, well, it was just a crappy 12 hour time period to say the least that I am still trying to adjust mentally to. 

This is the only bump pic I took this week:

baby/pregnancy stats:

How far along?  10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 1 lb and I fought hard for it! I have been forcing myself to eat lately. I am the girl who doesn't eat when stressed out... I just want to live at the gym or sleep all day.

Maternity clothes? I went shopping with a girlfriend (who is a champ for dealing with me in the store.. thanks, Laurie!) and spent more than I should have at Motherhood Maternity. I got a few outfits that will last me a few days, but I am starting to remember how hard it is to find something to wear once I have exhausted those options. I am thrilled that they have a few outfits that are MUCH cuter than the selection they had when I was pregnant with Caydon. I also bought a snoogle. Let me tell you, that thing is so totally worth the money. Absolutely more bang for my buck.
Stretch marks? nope! I bought a new cream that smells like perfume and makes me feel all feminine. I will have to post about it soon!
Sleep: Like WAY more than I should, but I am also trying to just get away from negativity.

Labor Signs: no way!
Belly Button in or out? in but shrinking

Best moment this week: hmmm... can I come back to this? Maybe my students and Caydon being sweet to me? Yeah, that's probably the only good thing that has happened this week.

Miss Anything? the feeling that everything would be all right. Feeling mutual love from Luke. Having a best friend to talk to. Yeah, def missing those right now.

Movement: not yet

Symptoms: my nausea has gotten a lot worse, but I think I kick started a vicious cycle because I am not eating nearly as much as I was. Being on the empty stomach and sleeping a lot has made me super nauseated. I am making myself eat via a timer now.
Food cravings: cheeseburgers. Strawberry milk.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  everything, especially my thoughts.

Anything make you emotional?: I think this goes without saying!
Bump Alert: yep.
Gender prediction: girl vibes!
Happy or Moody most of the time: it's been a hard week, but I WILL make happiness for this baby and Cay as if my life depends on it!
Pregnancy Dreams: lots of nightmares about shared custody.

Fearing: doing this alone. The "other woman" who I consider to be a home wrecker meeting my baby. My baby not latching because she doesn't get enough time with me thanks to shared custody.

Anticipating: telling Caydon. I am holding on to his excitement like there is nothing else that matters... and knowing that it is coming is what is keeping me going these days.