Surviving Valentine's Day Single and Pregnant OR Surviving Valentine's Day as a Single Mom

Let's face it, Valentine's Day is a miserable day if you are single.

Now if you're pregnant and single, or a single mom, or both on this day, it's the equivalent to putting the lemon (that you should be making lemonade with) on a bad wound. Ouch.

But... it doesn't have to be that way. Not at all. You, too, can totally enjoy the day. Trust me. It is one of my favorite days of the year and I have spent it alone for over 4 years now. I still highly anticipate this day and you should, too, regardless of how long you have been single.

You have a certain someone in your life who has taught you unconditional love, which is exactly what you're holding out for. Someone who isn't going anywhere. 

You have someone to love on and who loves you back.

I repeat.

You have someone to love on 
and 
who loves you back.

(Flashback 2 years ago... My hair was so blonde and his hair was so long!)

Over the years, I have found a few different tricks of the trade that make Valentine's Day much more bearable for us single ladies who also possess mommy hormones of some sort. Hopefully these ideas will inspire you to not just stay at home or think about the "what ifs" because, let's face it, that gets us nowhere and you have much better things to do with your time.

1. Create a tradition of some sort to do. Every year, Caydon and I go to a tempanyaki grill (a Japanese food restaurant where the chef cooks at your table and puts on a show). He looks forward to this one time that I'll spend $15 on a kid's meal, and I look forward to his expressions all year. Nope, we do not go to this restaurant any other time BUT for Valentine's Day. Now that he is older and this is established as what we do on Valentine's Day, I'd actually rather do this than go on a date with some guy I barely know. True story. You better be all that and a bag of chips to take over join our tradition.  Tip: I would suggestion an earlier than usual dinner for your little one because of both the crowds and the fact that most couples want to be child-free. That being said, I have never gotten any dirty looks from people when I take Caydon here at 4pm. And, really, if they do give you a dirty look and you gave them this curtesy, just know that you were the one making effort to be kind and keep your head high. Take out is another valid option for those with babies that get fussy/need to stay on their bed time routine. A home cooked, heart shaped dinner (red foods?) is another budget friendly option.
2. Treat yourself to some pampering. Hello, spa day!!! Since I'm budget happy right now, my cousin is coming over and giving me an hour long massage for $20 with me leaned up into my pregnancy pillow. Look around for deals via groupon or just give yourself a full on pedicure with the warm water soak. And don't forget the power of a lukewarm (not hot if you're preggo!) bubble bath. I'm also going to do attend my first prenatal yoga session, instead of just doing it post work out at the gym.
3. Buy yourself some pretties. Be it a plant, flowers, whatever you fancy. I wish peonies were in season, but I absolutely "settle" for some ranunculus right about now.  I always take Caydon to the store to pick out a bouquet of flowers for me. It completely melts me seeing how excited he is to give them to me, even if I am the one who paid. Seeing what either you picked out or what your child(ren) picked out is definitely a huge pick me up and a way to feel girly, in my book.
4. Get a gift for your little one. There is nothing like seeing your child's face lighten up, or buying something and anticipating how cute your baking baby will be when she/he uses it. Both of my babes are getting a present this year. Knowing that I have a surprise for the little people I am seriously head over heels for makes me giddy.
5. Get yourself a little something, too. Whatever you've been eyeing, treat yourself. You absolutely, 150% deserve it. I think us single mommies deserve it more than someone in a relationship because we put others first so much more often than we should have to. Single parenting, regardless of the dad's involvement, is not just a 50/50 job. It's like a 80-120/20-(neg)40 job, especially if you have an ex like my son's dad who doesn't do anything, ever, besides argue child support and owe me $40k+.  So get yourself something you've been yearning for. Why? because this mommy said so, is that enough justification? Caydon votes yes.
6. Stay busy. Play a board game, see the latest kid's movie or stay in and watch a chickflick post bedtime, read a steamy story once the kids are asleep, craft with the kids, craft by yourself post bedtime, or bake away. Whatever suits your fancy. Just don't do laundry, work, or clean because today is a day to remind yourself how much you love you, and how much your kids love you.
7. Indulge in some chocolate or your favorite dessert. Screw the diet for the day. It's VDay, and that means you deserve some chocolate. Buy yourself a high quality kind and savor the moment, preferably after kiddo bedtime.

We are independent women who know how to buy our own chocolate, gifts, and flowers. Thank-You-Very-Much.  Bonus: We know exactly what we want!

    **Extra Tip! Raid the VDay section the day after VDay. Seriously the best deals on candy all year!

10 Weeks

This week was, by far, the hardest week I have had in a long time. Please excuse my late post but I just don't even know what to do anymore. I will update more as I process this, but for now let's just say that I woke up to a 2 page letter from Luke as to why he isn't "ready" for our relationship. My best friend stabbed me in the back by crossing girl code (how do people not know girl code anymore!?) and, well, it was just a crappy 12 hour time period to say the least that I am still trying to adjust mentally to. 

This is the only bump pic I took this week:

baby/pregnancy stats:

How far along?  10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 1 lb and I fought hard for it! I have been forcing myself to eat lately. I am the girl who doesn't eat when stressed out... I just want to live at the gym or sleep all day.

Maternity clothes? I went shopping with a girlfriend (who is a champ for dealing with me in the store.. thanks, Laurie!) and spent more than I should have at Motherhood Maternity. I got a few outfits that will last me a few days, but I am starting to remember how hard it is to find something to wear once I have exhausted those options. I am thrilled that they have a few outfits that are MUCH cuter than the selection they had when I was pregnant with Caydon. I also bought a snoogle. Let me tell you, that thing is so totally worth the money. Absolutely more bang for my buck.
Stretch marks? nope! I bought a new cream that smells like perfume and makes me feel all feminine. I will have to post about it soon!
Sleep: Like WAY more than I should, but I am also trying to just get away from negativity.

Labor Signs: no way!
Belly Button in or out? in but shrinking

Best moment this week: hmmm... can I come back to this? Maybe my students and Caydon being sweet to me? Yeah, that's probably the only good thing that has happened this week.

Miss Anything? the feeling that everything would be all right. Feeling mutual love from Luke. Having a best friend to talk to. Yeah, def missing those right now.

Movement: not yet

Symptoms: my nausea has gotten a lot worse, but I think I kick started a vicious cycle because I am not eating nearly as much as I was. Being on the empty stomach and sleeping a lot has made me super nauseated. I am making myself eat via a timer now.
Food cravings: cheeseburgers. Strawberry milk.
Anything making you queasy or sick:  everything, especially my thoughts.

Anything make you emotional?: I think this goes without saying!
Bump Alert: yep.
Gender prediction: girl vibes!
Happy or Moody most of the time: it's been a hard week, but I WILL make happiness for this baby and Cay as if my life depends on it!
Pregnancy Dreams: lots of nightmares about shared custody.

Fearing: doing this alone. The "other woman" who I consider to be a home wrecker meeting my baby. My baby not latching because she doesn't get enough time with me thanks to shared custody.

Anticipating: telling Caydon. I am holding on to his excitement like there is nothing else that matters... and knowing that it is coming is what is keeping me going these days.