last bump pic... didn't realize it was my official last or I would have covered up more and shown my face!
My appointment on Thursday confirmed the worst. I was further along at 25 weeks than I was 3 days post my due date. I had reclosed and rethickened. It took everything I could to not be in tears, though I might have let one or two creep out. "Don't forget your kick counts! Just be patient and loving towards yourself!" my midwife reminded me. Ohhh... those kick counts. I slacked the last two days because I thought it was go time. I'll be loving towards myself with a peanut butter oreo plus cookie dough Sonic milkshake, thankyouverymuch, stupid labor. And I'll love myself even more by not weighing myself after. Then, Clairelin will be all hyper for my kick count, and I won't have to sit still for too long counting and can get onward with my day.
Once back home, I laid on my left side waiting for the sugar high to kick in and for my little ballerina to do her work. I waited. Then waited... I only felt 5 slight movements in 2 hours. How in the world is she so sleepy when she has 3 different kinds of goodness served to her in a milkshake? It just doesn't make sense.
I contacted my midwife since I already had the "glass of juice", who urged me to go get a Biophysical Profile. Biophysical = stage 2 ultrasound that monitors the baby's breathing movements, muscle tone, amniotic fluid, etc. and also often includes a NonStressTest. I originally was going to utilize our go-to ultrasound guy, Denzil, who isn't attached to any hospital, but a spark inside of me was full of panic. Don't wait. Just go. If it's nothing, the hospital will let me go home. If it's something, I won't regret it. The combination of this, plus bed rest, plus labor that keeps on regressing is too much...
I called my mom to confirm her as a babysitter for Cayd, then called Claire's dad and my doula while I grabbed my emergency hospital bags (one for Clairelin, one for me), packed a bag of clothes for Caydon, and stuffed my edited, but not yet retyped, birthing plan into my purse. Just in case.
The nurse then came back with new news. "Well, we can't let you leave. You're going to have to be admitted and have the baby here...." That spark started a blaze. It was completely right. Something was wrong and it wasn't just effecting my contractions, it was effecting her oxygen levels.
"Get some sleep now. Tomorrow you will need your strength for laboring. I will be there to help you and guide you as you need it. Stay calm and open minded, okay? Call me if your contractions increase to 5-1-1 or if you need anything. I'm going to get some sleep now, too," my midwife said, comforting me with her words and 20 years of birthing knowledge. Due to previous experiences with mainstream medicine, I already wasn't very trusting of hospital policies and doctors, let alone in the labor and delivery side of things where I viewed most of what happened as corrupt. My doula and I both agreed my midwife coming would be a huge blessing. We even got a little excited knowing we were about to witness her work her art of birthing. At this point, the obvious plan was to bring my home birth into the hospital. Everything was to be as close to Plan A as possible, just in a hospital setting where baby girl can be monitored close to emergency help.
My mom came to get filled in and check on "her girls" while a nurse consulted with me. We both agreed to using Cervadil as a method of induction. My birth plan had no intention of induction as everything was to happen naturally and without meds; however, I also recognized that we could potentially be there for days since my cervix had rethickened the day before. Ashley has two other babes to tend to, I have Caydon, and my mom has a classroom full of students... we couldn't sit around in a hospital for days waiting for natural labor to restart. It wasn't realistic and would only have been selfish of me to do otherwise. Cervadil was the go-to because it was on a string even when inserted into my cervix, which meant that if baby didn't tolerate it then we could pull it out and tend to her needs. It was the safest form of induction per the situation.
Before bedtime, we all enjoyed yummy salads, anticipating it as my last time eating even though my birth plan requested otherwise. Then it was off to dreamland until morning, or so I thought.